Don’t Yuck My Yum
I've been to Spain several times and loved everything about it, including the food. I especially adore pintxos, those small flavorful bites which pack a big punch.
Today I offer you a selection of “thought pintxos” — a handful of small ideas that have been packing a big punch in my mind lately.
Don’t Yuck My Yum
These days it doesn’t take much to find a source for anxiety, heartache, or fear. (The morning news offers plenty of material for many of us.) In the face of that challenging context, I’ve become curious about how to expand my capacity for joy, happiness and ease. And I’ve discovered something surprising: I am a world-class expert at yucking my own yum. I rain on my own parade. I put a lid on my own laughter. And I often downplay objectively good things happening in my life. (I have some suspicions about the origins of this pattern, and that’s for another newsletter.)
For now, I’m testing this system:
Get curious: Am I yucking my own yum right now?
Stay present: Right now, at this very moment, can I stay in the “good” for a little bit longer?
What about you? Do you ever yuck your own yum?
It’s Better with a Theme Song
This one may fall into the “duh” category, especially since I’ve spent most of my life as a musician. But like many high achievers, I often try to think my way into a different mood. Research shows that there are faster and much more effective ways to do this, starting with music. So — for the first time in my life — I’ve begun using music intentionally to shift how I'm feeling. And it works.
Right now I start my days with this song then I let the music streaming service send me on an empowering girl-band soundtrack for the rest of the day.
What might your theme song be for today?
Time is Relative (said someone pretty smart)
Complaining about not having enough time is so common for most of us, it’s almost a default state. “I’d love to but I don’t have time.” “If I only had time I would…” “There’s never enough time to …”
I’m willing to bet something similar has come out of your mouth at least once already today? These statements feel so TRUE. And yet when something big happens — a sick child, a last minute invite to a Taylor Swift show, a canceled flight — we somehow create time that we didn’t “have” before.
The more accurate (and maybe uncomfortable) language is this: “I’m choosing to spend my time on [xyz] right now.” Or, “I’m choosing not to make time for [abc] right now.” Even when those choices are influenced by major consequences (like keeping your job) — they’re still choices. (And it's important to say that both choice and consequence can look very different, depending on privilege.)
To get more honest about my own choices, I’m starting a project: 30 days without a single complaint about time.
Will you join me?
Some Hangovers are Worth It
Brené Brown coined the phrase "vulnerability hangover” — that fragile and exposed feeling that some of us experience after we’ve made ourselves visible in an open and honest way. She recently said that she is in her “‘being real is worth the hangover’ era.”
Her message came at the perfect moment for me, as I worked through my own vulnerability hangover after guesting on The Art of Excellence video and podcast. Brené helped remind me that even folks who do this kind of thing all the time can get anxious and afraid.
I’m definitely in my own “being real is worth the hangover” era, and I’m glad for the company!
What about you?
More Than a Bite
If you are hungry for more than a snack and are in the mood for a meal, here are a few recommendations: As I continue to think about sustainable success I've found loads of value in these two books: The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, and Oliver Burkeman's Meditations for Mortals. (And of course you can dive into The Art of Excellence podcast, linked above,)
So — will you grab a pintxo or two from this list (or make yourself a full meal) and chew on it? If you do, let me know if it packs a punch for you, too.