Surf’s up.

I've never surfed a wave. I did manage to stay upright on a paddle board on a very tranquil lake — once. 

But I have a very clear idea (in my imagination) of what it takes to ride a wave: a strong, stable core and agile, responsive legs. 

I love this image (strong core, flexible and responsive limbs) for all sorts of situations. 

For example, clients often come to me wanting to advocate for themselves more effectively — in meetings, interviews, or salary negotiations.

Together we work on getting super clear on what they want to say, and then we practice. It can be extremely helpful to have a few well-rehearsed phrases ready to go, especially if these kinds of conversations are hard for you.​​​​​​​​

This work helps support that strong core, that unshakeable sense of purpose and center.

But what happens when the conversation doesn't follow the script? When you hit a choppy spot or an unexpected wave?

It's easy to get tongue-tied if you've been thinking about preparation as a means to achieve perfection.​​​​​​​​ When we lose control of “perfect” we don't know where to go next. We get rigid and inflexible. 

And we topple right off the surfboard of our conversation.

Here's what to remember: We practice and prepare NOT to be perfect, but to be focused, flexible, nimble, and confident. ​​​​​​​​

We practice so that we can tap into our imagination and our courage. So we can stay centered and responsive, and ride that wave. So we can meet the moment at hand.

This is how I prepared for decades of performances. I practiced — NOT to execute exactly as planned, but so I could have total confidence in my ability to execute exactly as the moment requires.​​​​​​​​

Reader, you can do this, too.

INVITATION TO REFLECT: Think back to a situation where you weren't as effective as you'd have liked. Which aspect (strong core, or responsive flexibility) might have given you more of what you needed?

ACTION: Want to practice this? Make a game out of it. Find a partner to role-play your next stressful conversation. Ask them to challenge you and to mix it up! Practice staying centered and flexible, and watch your confidence soar.

PS —I've recently done a deep dive into the podcast The Art of Excellence. Its diverse lineup of guests share valuable perspectives on practice, excellence, and mastery. Check it out for a dose of inspiration. (I'm also excited to share that you'll see me on their 2025 lineup very soon!)