Boxes are for Gifts … Not People
It’s tempting to pack ourselves — and others — into neat and tidy boxes. Especially in a year defined by uncertainty and disruption, this kind of simple clarity can be comforting.
As I reflect back on 2020 — woven through with powerful challenges, tremendous growth, moments of grief, joy and everything in between — it’s clear that I am not just one thing, easily packaged ... and neither is anyone else. We are each made of parts, facets, and dimensions, most of which do not fit neatly into any kind of box.
Reminding myself of this truth helps me see others with more nuance and imagination, and allows me to ask to be seen with more dimension, too.
I’m inspired by the many people in my life who demonstrate this by their example:
The cherished colleague whose political views are so diametrically opposed to mine that my brain hurts when I try to hold this conflicting picture together in my mind. Maintaining this valuable relationship requires me to let go of any attempt to put this person into a box.
The young adult flutist who ended her final lesson this year with an offer to support my coaching practice by introducing me to potential clients she knows in the corporate world. This unexpected role reversal was not only a touching moment of generosity but it also swiftly dismantled the “flute student” box I realized I had placed her in.
The friend who is stepping outside her safe — but much too small — career box, to bravely stride into the unknown and start her own business. It’s impossible to box up the unknown, and her courageous choice to go forward in this new way allows for a universe of possibility, yet to be defined.
The students in my weekly conservatory class who are all so much more than students — their honesty, warmth and humanity radiated through the screen each week, breaking past those tidy, square Zoom boxes, making it impossible not to see them in all their dimensions.
I’m thankful to these people, and so many others, for refusing to fit into neat and tidy boxes, and for constantly showing me the beautiful complexity of human nature.