Are your systems working for you?
I’m not a New Year’s resolution gal.
I am, however, starting 2025 with some new awarenesses, and a commitment to running some experiments.
I’ve been tired a lot recently — and I’m suspicious that the reason is NOT because I need more rest, but rather that I’m not great at prioritizing fun and other kinds of replenishing activities.
Replenishment is different from rest.
I had a lot of fun playing games over the holidays with family and friends. This felt energizing and restorative in a different way than just plain old rest does. And it occurred to me that I don’t need to wait for holidays or big group gatherings to have more replenishing activities in my life. (Duh.)
So one of my new projects is to learn how to play cribbage. (Woo hoo!)
Calling fellow high achievers
Learning a new game may not sound particularly exciting to plenty of folks — but for me (and maybe some of you?), deciding to devote real time to learning (and then playing) a card game might just be, well, a game changer.
No problem
And all this sounds pretty simple, right?
But knowing me, if I just wait for an “ideal” time to learn a card game, I’m going to be writing to you in 2026 without having made it happen. If I’m really committed to this, it has to occupy dedicated real estate on my calendar.
(Psst … I invite you to re-read that last paragraph and change “learn a card game” to whatever it is you have been meaning to do, and just aren’t doing.)
We vote with our calendar
It took a bit of planning to find times that worked both for my cribbage partner and for me. But now it’s there on my online calendar, in gorgeous blocks of purple. (Purple is the color I use for FUN.) Time is one of our most precious assets, and this commitment to putting cribbage on my calendar is me voting, with my time, in favor of more fun.
Ideas ≠ reality. (What’s your system?)
Ideas are great. Making them happen is something else entirely. This is why so many New Year’s resolutions (and other great goals/plans) don’t become reality.
If this is true for you, consider that your current results aren't some sort of moral failing — they are simply the results of your current system. If you want different results, it pays to look at the system you have running.
For me, my old system was waiting for inspiration to strike and then trying to “carve out” time for fun. And this created its own perfect result … NOT MUCH FUN. (I mean, how much fun does “carving out” sound like to you?)
If I wanted a different result I needed to implement a different system:
Put those card games onto my calendar. (Scheduled fun may sound antithetical to you. And if you are currently spending your time fully aligned with your values and priorities, and are doing this without planning out your days, fantastic! Your system is working for you.)
Labeling these activities with their own color, checking each week to see how much of that color exists, and then adjusting. (No purple = not okay.)
Knowing myself and prioritizing these activities so they can occur at a time of day/week when I can actually experience them as fun. (Trying to learn something brand new at 8:30pm at the end of a jam-packed workday is less likely to be fun.)
That said, when I don’t “feel like” doing the fun thing and would rather just crash and watch Chef's Table: Noodles, I will challenge myself to try just 5 minutes of that rejuvenating activity and see how I feel. Getting started is usually the hard part, and the fun starts to self-reinforce after just a few minutes.
This is a tried and true system for me — for my professional priorities. New is using it for something like prioritizing fun. But, as James Clear says, “We don’t rise to the level of our goals, we fall to the level of our systems.”
INVITATION TO REFLECT:
If we vote with our calendars, what does your calendar say about your priorities and values?
What would I know about you if I looked at where and how you spend your time?
And are your current systems working for you?
If you, like me, want different results, it might be time to think about creating a different system.
PS —Systems don't have to be complex! A great system is to take two deep, grounding breaths before starting 1:1 meetings with your direct reports. (That same system might evolve to include setting a helpful reminder to pop up 2 minutes before the meeting, or sticking a post-it note onto your computer.) If you're trying out a new system and want to share it with me, drop me a note and let me know how it's going. I'd love to know.